This is the 8th article in My Weight loss Journey. You can read the first one here.
My Weight Loss Journey is one of ups and downs literally and figuratively.
I started my diet on 17 April 2024 and it is now the 17th of December 2024. It is the first year that I can remember, where I lost weight instead of gaining weight over the winter months.
It has been a couple of weeks since I last posted about my weight loss journey. My weight has plateaued around 79 kg, 16.5 kg lighter than I was in April.
The odd muffin and a "few" of squares of chocolate has passed my lips which is probably why I haven’t lost more weight. But I have managed to control my previous habit of food bingeing when unhappy.
People who know me keep telling me how good I look and I should be on top of the world filled with drive and energy to reach some new goals. Yet, I have been feeling totally lost, without motivation and no clue how to move forward. Having proved to myself that I can take control of my weight, I now need to dig deep again and take charge of other areas of my life.
In February 2025 I turn 70. I have never felt "old" before but for some reason when I turned 69 it hit me quite hard. I wrote an article about it on one of my other websites.
I used to be able to accept any job with full confidence that I could learn new skills easily and work long hours without complaint. I have always thrived on new challenges and I enjoyed nothing more than being able research and solve problems.
I have lost confidence, become fearful and I continually question what I do and say. I hide the "real me" to ensure I don't offend anyone.
My "activism" gets me into trouble and my life has been one of getting involved, trying to save the world, getting humiliated and crawling back under my rock in shame. Living in a Senior Citizens Home in a confined space with Dave, we have to be careful about having loud disagreements. Rumours fly and with the number of deaf oldies, stories become fantastical in a heartbeat.
I love to write and I am busy honing my writing skills everyday. It is a way to express myself and people can choose to read what I write or not. I now take a long time to write an article and I am no longer the impulsive sender of vicious emails or face to face explosions.
My interests are wide and varied and I have become a great fan of podcasts.
The one constant growing up was that we had the morning newspaper delivered every day regardless of how poor we were. My mother was determined that we would be aware of events around us and elsewhere in the world. A love of reading was her greatest gift to her children. Our social lives were largely dominated by the Anglican Church and getting involved in anti apartheid politics through our membership of the Progressive Federal Party, which has morphed into the DA (Democratic Alliance.) As I have aged, I realise that I have many of my mom's values and traits although I am louder and more confrontational than she was.
A few of weeks ago I received an email from a Texas University, Knights Centre for Journalism. The were offering a free course known as a MOOC (Massive Open Online Courses) on How To Be A Trusted Voice Online . The course was for Journalists, Bloggers and all Content Creators.
I have done a few of their courses before, and they are excellent in terms of presenters and the quality of their material. I have previously done Social Media Courses and a Podcasting Course through their institution.
I thought this was a great course for me to do. I signed up and started watching the introductory videos. The course material gives you links to a range of journalists, some hard new journalists and others who report on climate change, gender issues etc.
In order to complete the assignments you need to watch the videos and interact with other participants on the course, many of whom are journalists.
As soon as I clicked onto the links to the hard news journalists websites, I realised I couldn’t watch the violence, cruelty and destruction that they had to report on. It was impossible for me to engage with them. Their bravery is incredible but I felt physically sick and depressed.
I realised that I can’t do this course justice. I will watch and read what I can and skip over the nasty parts.
I feel disappointed in myself as I pride myself on being able to always finish any courses I start. I know there is so much good and important information in this course.
But my mental health has been rebelling.
2024 has been very tough. I am looking forward to new adventures in 2025. I don't know what they will be but I intend to do my best to get my mojo back.
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